MY MOTHER IS ROASTING A GIANT TURKEY. We will also have a ham and so many sides there is an entire separate table for them. I will eat all the sides and manybe some ham. I don't really like turkey. The Offspring were talking about Nanny's turkey the other day. "Her turkey is super yummy!" Which is hilarious. They take four bites of food and then turn to the dessert table. "Can we have pie now? We ate our dinner!"

My mom is a phenomenal cook. Everything she makes is high quality. I used to cook for my roommates in college and they would say things like, "Wait, why did you add that cream?" Or "What are you doing now?" And I would always shrug and say, "That's how you make it." They would stare at me knife and fork at the ready, "No, it isn't. Can I have some more?"

Her secret ingredient is almost always butter, heavy cream or applesauce. It is a flat-out miracle my Dad doesn't weigh 375 pounds. Everything she cooks has amazing flavor, but I don't like turkey.

i used to eat turkey because it seemed the adult thing to do. It was Thanksgiving after all and turkey is part of the gig. But after awhile I realized that eating turkey for the sake of tradition was a waste of calories. I'd rather fill up on potatoes and stuffing.

Speaking of senseless traditions, I was reading about the Boston Marathon. Bobbi Gibs was the first woman to run the Boston Marathon. She didn't have a bib number though, she just hid behind a bush and blended in when the race started.

They didn't let women run marathons because it was believed that women couldn't run more than two miles. If a woman ran longer than that it was believe that she would become very hairy, develop giant legs and her uterus would fall out. So, to keep them safe women weren't allowed to race.

Katherine Switzer signed up for the Boston Marathon by registering as K. Switzer. She was bib number 160. At the last minute, her boyfriend decided to race too. He didn't train though. He said he didn't need to if it was "something a girl could do". You gotta love supportive boyfriends, right? He also told her, right before the race started to take off her lipstick. I'd like to believe she just stared him down as she applied a fresh coat, but we don't know her specific reaction, other than damn well leaving her lipstick on.

You've probably seen pictures of her as a race official tried to rip her bib off while she raced. She kept right on running though and her fellow racers tried to shield her from
the rule-obsessed officials who tried to chase her down in a truck. She finished the race, of course WITH her lipstick and uterus still in tact.

Here's the most amazing part of the story. Katherine ran in 1967, and immediately following her finish on the Boston Marathon, women were BANNED from
races. That's right. Up until that point the rules held no specific mention of gender - it was too implausible that a woman could run that far to bother banning them in the rules. So it was after Bobbi Gibs and Katherine Switzer, that woman were officially banned - no doubt for our protection.

As anyone who knows a strong woman can tell you, this did NOT stop women from running the Boston Marathon. They turned out in larger and larger numbers running without bib numbers - right along side the men. Finally, in 1972 the ban against women competing was lifted as the officials recognized that the women were NOT going away.

Women compete in marathons all the time now - not me - other women. One thing that almost every powerful female character in tv and movies has in common, is that she is a runner. It has become a powerful woman stereotype. Yet, until 1972 this was not acceptable or traditional behavior.

Listen, I'm not saying we need to end the tradition of serving turkey at Thanksgiving, I am just saying that maybe it's time we let filet mignon have a seat at the table. As for me, I'm gonna forego the turkey and enjoy the sides. I'm pretty sure I can do so while wearing my lipgloss and am confident that sticking to mashed potatoes won't make my uterus fall out. Stayed tuned though, and I'll give you an update tomorrow. ;)