IT WAS DATE NIGHT.
The Husband and I went to see Rogue One, again. Although, the Rock Star would deny it, we are pretty much nerds, so we went to see the same movie again. It is a great movie on its own, but if you walk into that theater with the weight of the '70s and 80s in your back pocket, it makes the movies you seen before stronger. It explains things that didn't make sense in the past, and gives more gravity to some of the dialog. We ditched the Offspring, leaving them with Granny, and skedadled over to the Cineplex.
The Offspring behaves well for Granny. She doesn't put up with any sass, and they know it. She's raised seven kids, and hasn't got time for nonsense. Belive me, if she had been running the rebel alliance -- those Imperials would have NEVER made even ONE death star.
I suppose, recent events put us in the mood to see the movie again, but I have also been reading Carrie Fisher's last book - The Princess Diarist. I actually preordered it way back in May, and so got it as soon as it came out. I was excited to read her newest book and now, unless they publish something she wrote posthumously, her last. If you want to read it, and haven't you should probably stop reading this blog because there are spoilers ahead.
The book is two-thirds Carrie Fisher today telling the story of filming Star Wars, and one-third the poetry of 19 year old Carrie Fisher, written while she was filming Star Wars. I have a subscription to Audible, and so I've got the audiobook version. It is read by Carrie Fisher. The excerpts from her diary are read by her daughter Billie Lourd. I haven't finshed it. I've got maybe two chapters left and I just can't finish it because once I do, I will be finished reading something new by Carrie Fisher, and that makes me pretty sad. She was a really talented writer.
The book tells the story of her affair with Harrison Ford, but not in the sordid details kind of way. She talks with some embarrassment and plenty of guilt, the stupidity of stumbling into a relationship that involved a nineteen year old girl, who of course fell in love with an older, mysterious, silent older man. It is the painfully true story of very young love. She of course spoke with Mr. Ford before publishing this story so he wasn't blindsided, but I can't imagine he is thrilled to hear all about their affair - no matter who kind and compassionately it is told. She goes to great lengths to explain that he was kind to her then, and is still kind to her today, but her confession of their affair has got to be uncomfortable, as he was married at the time.
Her poetry from those days is so painfully honest, and hearing it in Billie Lourd's young voice is almost too much to listen to. Her poems to something along the lines of --- why can't I tell you the truth? Why can't I tell you I love you? You are silent, and everything is hidden, and I am too afraid to shatter the silence.
I was grateful when I finished the section with the poetry. It was so beautiful and so true, but also difficult to listen too. Sometimes her writing is almost too honest. I am going to miss reading her work - especially sad that we won't get her voice continue to grow and develop. She was always honest, often uncomfortably slow, but she made me laugh and cry - sometimes at the same time.
Anyway, back to Rogue One. There is a line of dialog that I find really powerful: "Make ten men feel like 100." I liked the line the first time we watched the movie, and this time it really resonanted with me. I mean, that is what we all should be doing in life, isn't it? As we go out and attempt to navigate this world, we must be thoughtful so our impact is more powerful that just the impact of one small human. Maybe it is because I am a teacher, but I feel that it is essential that as we head into an uncertain,