THERE IS A WEST WING EPISODE FROM THE FIRST SEASON CALLED, "SIX MEETINGS BEFORE LUNCH". I find that highly relatable lately. It is self-inflicted, of course. Today I taught school, had a conference call as soon as I got home, cooked dinner and then had to run out to the store because it's my team's week for Friday potluck. Every single thing on that list is something I want to do, and is something I enjoy doing, but sometimes the days seem to slip by pretty fast. In between all those things are time with my kids and my husband. Homework hour was even fairly pleasant today. (Thank God, Mercedes has been working with The Girl on multiplication -- things went so much more smoothly!!)
There is a part of me that enjoys the busyness of life. I like having lots to do. I've learned to put everything in little boxes in my mind, and worry about them one at a time. I have an endless checklist that I'm always running through. I find myself finishing one thing and then saying to myself, "What's next?" It's a West Wing theme tonight.
I've got a couple of meetings tomorrow and then things should settle down for a couple of seconds. It is a mellow weekend -- a couple of birthday parties and hopefully some uneventfully laying around and watching a movie or two. The good thing about me is that I love doing nothing almost as much as doing something.
The school year has started pretty well, too. Both my kids are uber happy to go to school and appear cheerful and confident when I pass them on the playground. The Girl who always seems to take forever to settle in, seemed to hit the ground running this year. And I am surrounded by some pretty awesome teachers. My team is great -- funny, like-minded and serious about the work we do. I like spending my days teaching with them.
I have a couple of side jobs this year, too, which is why I have so many meetings. I am excited about the work we are doing, but fairly nervous, too. It is new, and I'm not always confident in what I'm doing. It isn't easy keeping all the balls in the air, either.
I started saying yes to opportunities last year. It was after my 9th funeral in 18 months that I thought, "What am I so scared of? Why not just go ahead and do things?" It wasn't too long after that, that my life blew up with crazy opportunities. Every time something new comes my way, it seems like another things is holding onto its tail. One unique adventure leads to another and another and another. I am finding myself pretty far down this new and undiscovered road. I also know that all of this is temporary. This time of craziness will pass, and things will settle back into an old familiar calm again.
Only, it want be entirely familiar because every new thing shapes and changes me. I'm not sure what lies ahead, but I'm enjoying it; enjoying the crazy goodness, and the frightening days of struggle, too. I am still breathing. I am still here. That is so much more than most. I inhale the good, exhale the bad, and wait for the sun to rise in the morning. It always has.
Keep on, keeping on, my friends.