SO I AM MARRIED TO THE BLACK PANTHER. I'm not even making this up. The picture is of the actual Husband. Of course, his constant working out at the gym make it look like he's the actual guy from the actual movie, but he is just actually my guy.
We have been married for 14 years or maybe it is 15. I have a really hard time with humbers. I can't seem to remember them. It doesn't matter really. We are in it for the long haul. I plan on at least 50 more years, and by then we'll both be senile, and my inability to remember numbers, even important ones, will seem totally normal. The Black Panther thing is new -- hasn't been with us all of the 14 or 15 years. It is a direct result of The Avengers, and watching too much Bat Dad on Youtube. (If you haven't seen BatDad. It's pretty funny - unless you are showing it to a person at 11:30 at night who just wants to sleep, but that's another story.)
As hobbies go, Black Panther has been realatively inexpensive, and who am I to judge? I actually own an autobiography of Fess Parker (kids ask your Grandma). We all have things we are into. Besides, he looks pretty good as a super hero. I mean he's all muscle-y and whatnot. He always jokes about wearing the mask wherever he goes, which is where this post turns kind of heavy.
If my husband looked different than he does, he could probably wander around the gym in his Black Panther mask, and people would laugh and take pictures. It might even be one of those weird pictures that gets 5,000 likes and people laugh about for a day. He can't do that, at least I don't think he can, and it seems far too dangerous a risk. He was joking about it on FB the other day, and my sweet father sent him a kind and cautious private message: You aren't going to drive around town like that? It could be dangerous. The unspoken message being -- don't get shot.
He leaves pretty soon to go on tour again. He'll be travelling all over Eastern Europe. This is his third tour, and so he's pretty familiar with all the places he going - although they've added Romania to the tour so that will be a new place. I love that he gets to go, and I enjoy the fact that although we live a pretty quiet life her in CA, in places like Serbia, he is a legit rockstar. I really love watching him on stage. He is so comfortable and so completely himself. I also happen to like his music too.
He's got an easy going, even tempered nature. His general approach is laid back to my constantly uptight. We used to joke that if you had travelled the world to search for an opposite for each other -- it would be us. I've learned a ton from him over the years - how to chill, how to set aside worry and not take things personally. He's much better at all those things. He's really kind and sweet and a great dad. He's also a substantailly better dance than me, but that's not really saying much; I cannot dance.
He's been in many different bands, but his latest one is really solid. People ask me sometimes about how I manage when he is on the road. "Doesn't it bother you that he is gone, and traveling?" I think it is kind of strange question. It would like asking him if he minds all those teacher meetings I go to. A musician is who he is, and I am really happy that his band is doing well enough to travel over seas. Three years ago he had never left the United States and almost backed out of a tour. "You have to go." I told him, and not just because we would lose the deposit; the world is wide and I wanted him to see how big it really is. Now he has been to places I've never gone: Serbia, Croatia, Hungary, Germany, England, and Turkey. I loved the pictures he posted on his first trip, and his excited texts to me. "I am standing in front of Big Ben, like, right now!"
If you love someone you should want good things for them, and I want all the best things for him, just like he wants the best things for me.
I wish it were that way for all humans; that we would want the best for each other, and that we would believe the best in each other too. I wish that the world were a place where a quirky, nerdy, rocker could wear a Black Panther mask to the gym, and people would just laugh, and no one would be afraid.
Imagine the journeys we could all take if only it were so.