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I HAVE NO DESIRE TO BE QUEEN.

I spent part of vacation watching The Crown on Netflix, and it was really well done, but it convinced me that being queen would be a total and complete bummer.  In the second episode when she learns of her father's death, her husband is not allowed to walk beside her -- he must walk several steps behind her.  I mean, she just found out her father is dead, and she can't even hold her husband's hand as she steps out into the glare of the public.  That. Is. Lame.

In the past few years, I've been to far too many funerals.  They are also total bummers.  But at each, and everyone of them, I was able to cling, rather tightly I might add, to my husband's hand.  I know.  It seems like such a small thing, and yet it is infinitely comforting.  Life is rather precarious, and it is good to have someone at your side.

I am quite fond of The Husband.  He makes me laugh which is necessary especially on difficult days.  He pushes me to consider things from many points of view, and has a well of patience with the outside worlds that I sometimes lack.  And also, if I am going to be totally honest here, the Husband is much cooler than me.  It's true.  He can talk to people easily and everyone who meets him, just adores him.  I, myself, can get tongue-tied around strangers, and am much more likely to hide in the corner or rely on him for interaction.

Can I mention one other thing, that watching the Queen made me think about?  It will quite possibly irritate some of you, but it is something I've been thinking about for quite awhile now.  During my endless season of funerals, which I hope is slowing down, I relied quite heavily on the comforting presence of my husband.  I remember one funeral in particular which was held in a church, and clinging tightly to his hand when I turned to look at a good friend of mine sitting all alone for the simple reason that their best friend and spouse, happened to be of the same-sex.  I was filled with another layer of sadness that on such a difficult day they had to be alone because they understood that their partner would make those in the church uncomfortable. My friend, who is always thinking of others, thoughtfully and respectfully, set aside their own comfort for the comfort of others. It bothered me. It still bothers me.

Regardless, of what you feel about the issue, shouldn't church be the place where all are welcome? And isn't it more important to comfort those in grief than judge their lifestyle choices?  

I know. I'm an upstart. I've got issues. I'm annoying and worse, wrong. But still, I see the image of one person sitting alone in grief while I lean against my Husband's shoulder, and it seems unfair and arbitrary. Am I more deserving of comfort? I don't think so. Am I a better person? In the eyes of a perfect God most certainly not.  

I don't know about so very many things but it bothers me all the same. 

I suppose that is why it is a good thing that I am NOT a queen. I am far too faulty. I am far too human and ask far too many questions. I suppose that is the real trouble with a monarchy; to believe that a human is a right representative of God on earth. It is far too much to expect from anyone.  

On the other hand, the dresses in The Crown, now that is something I can get behind.  

 --Jen