Today began with donuts.
I think it is important to keep this is mind when looking at the rest of the day. The Husband got up and went out, and brought me back donuts. He did this because he understands that I love donuts almost as much as I love him. And I love him a lot.
Tomorrow is my father's birthday, and we celebrated tonight. His request was a dinner with the family and then church together. My parents and my little family actually attend different churches so every now and again, the Grandparents appreciate church with all of us in the same place. As birthday requests go, it was pretty simple and so we all loaded up and headed over to Vacaville for the afternoon and evening.
What happened next was kind of lame. The kids wanted very much to go to the Bukhorn -- they love the high-tech soda machine they have, but it was really crowded. We went to Fenton's Creamery instead, and the kids were comfroted that at the end of the evening they would have some delicious ice cream.
It was while waiting for a table that a foolish woman made an ugly comment about NOT "sitting with black people." The boy was thankfully plugged into his 3DS and missed the whole thing, but the Girl was horrified by this rude behavior. The woman left, apparently too offended by my family's melanin to remain at Fentons' and we had a lovely dinner.
I don't mention this to garner sympathy or even to shame anyone. The lady was a stranger who flitted in and out of our lives. And we DID have a lovely dinner. I thought no more about it, and if it upset my husband to his core, he gave no outward sign. I posted something about it on FB and it is still getting red-faced reactions and posts of people apologizing or comforting us.
But to be honest, it didn't upset us all that much. It probably bothered the girl the most, but the truth is, it isn't the first time, we've heard racial slurs against us, and it won't be the last. The first one I remember vivdly was sitting in the waiting room of Kaiser to pick up some meds for the Girl, who was not even one at the time. The Husband and I sat together, and both of us, winced as we heard a woman talking about our "mulatto" child. It was a discordant note, that interrupted the music of our life, but we ignored it, and continued on.
I wish I could say that comments like these are so rare that they are deeply wounding, but they aren't. It bums me out, and fills me with anger from time to time, but they are also part of life.
Sitting in traffic the other day, behind a truck, the Girl pointed out the bumper sticker on the back of the truck. "What flag is that?" She asked innocently. Oh, sweet, honey, child. I then realized I hadn't taught her anything about the Confederate flag, and that I probably should. "When you see that flag, you should be a little more careful, and pay close attention to your environment, and the people around you. It can mean danger. It doesn't always, but when you see it, you need to be cautious." The sad truth of REAL life.
Listen, the world is full of darkness and danger, and sometimes the road is fraught with peril. But as I have told my students and my Offspring many, many times, things that are difficult can lead to greatness. There are some who chose hate, and anger, but we do not. There are some who chose division and discord, but we do not. We walk the same earth with them, and but we do not walk in the same way. Our steps are different; our path our own. We move forward, together, in grace and love. It is all we have and it is everything.