For the record, not a single thing went as planned today. I could chalk it up to kids with the flu, or lesson plans taking left turns, or uncooperative technology during presentations, but it was just all around one of THOSE days.
Have I mentioned my tendency to be a worrier? I bet I have. If not, that worries me. Am I hiding things? (See what I did there?). I don't like problems that aren't solved INSTANTLY, and the problem with human behavior is that almost NOTHING is solved instantly, or, you know, ever. We struggle our way through sometimes, and hard days come to everyone.
When I was a kid, I always felt like an outsider, and maybe it was because I was the only kid in my class who was at the private school on scholarship. Maybe it was because I was louder than everyone else, or maybe it was that my friends were all really wealthy and we were a regular middle class family. Whatever the reasons, I knew that I wasn't like the rest of THEM.
Except, maybe none of that's true. Maybe that was just my perception because the truth was that I wasn't on a scholarship. My parents paid for that education, and my mom even taught preschool to make it happen. And thinking back, I wasn't the only loud girl there, and I know for a FACT that at least two of the kids in my class came from middle class families who FOUGHT to keep their kids in private school.
I think it is interesting that how I saw things wasn't really as they were. I like to remind myself of this from time to time especially when it seems like I've messed up or that no one likes me. I have to remind myself that sometimes I see things incorrectly. And don't get me wrong, nothing TERRIBLE happened today -- it was just one of those days were an endless pile of tiny things grew and grew and grew, and the next thing you know you are looking down from the edge of the very end of the day wondering how something that started out so sunny ended up here. I suppose that is when I have to shift my thinking and my view, and recognize that although there are things to overcome and correct and repair, it isn't a mountain and I am not looking down from the top of a cliff -- it is just regular, ordinary, complicated, lovely, life. And just like always, no matter what we
Keep moving forward,